In The Beginning

By Greg Doolan

“Hi. What’s your name?” a voice said.
 
“Err… I’m Eve,” said Eve, looking around for the source. “What’s your name?”
 
“I’m Adam,” said Adam, stepping out from behind a tree. “What’s a nice person like you doing in a garden like this?”
 
“Use that line often, do you?” said Eve, unimpressed.
 
“First time, actually. It just seemed… I dunno, instinctive,” replied Adam.
 
“Well try to be a little more creative in future.”
 
“Sorry Eve. So… would you like something to drink?”
 
“What do you have?”
 
“I can offer you ‘water’. I would offer you ‘beer’ only I haven’t invented it yet.”
 
“What’s ‘beer’?” she asked.
 
“I don’t really know. I just somehow know I like it and I really want one. Anyway, so really – what are you doing here?”
 
“I’m not sure, Adam. One moment there was… well… nothingness. Then next moment I just ‘was’.”
 
“Really? Wow! That’s what happened to me too,” Adam replied excitedly. “One moment there was black. Next thing – BOOM! I’ve been walking around this garden since then giving things names.”
 
“I sort of remember hearing this God-like voice before all this happened,” said Eve.
 
“Oh!” Adam exclaimed. “‘God’! That’s a great name. I was going to call it ‘Gerald’, but ‘God’ is much more awesome.”
 
“What other names have you come up with?” asked Eve.
 
“Well, I’m ‘Adam’ – that was the first one I came up with,” he said proudly. “And I call that a ‘tree’,” he said pointing at a tree. “And this is ‘grass’, which is really good to lie down and roll about on.”
 
Adam lay down and demonstrated his best rolling. Eve pretended not to look interested but fought a sudden urge get down to roll on the grass too.
 
“Have you named anything yet?” asked Adam.
 
“Well, I like ‘flowers’,” she said and pointed to some flowers growing in the ‘grass’ around the base of the ‘tree’. “And the bright, hot thing up there I call the ‘Sun’.”
 
“That’s great,” said Adam. “At this rate we’ll have everything named in no time. After that I guess we can go do… umm… err… Hey Eve? What’ll we do after that?”
 
Eve thought for a moment. “I think I want ‘children’.”
 
“Children!” Adam said, alarmed.
 
“Not right away, of course,” Eve said, trying to calm him down. “I want to do something with my life first. Then maybe a bit later I think I would like to have ‘children’. It just feels… right.”
 
Adam sighed with relief and started to scratch himself between his legs. “You had me worried there for a bit, Eve. I don’t know why, but you did.”
 
“What’s that?” asked Eve pointing to where Adam was scratching.
 
“That’s my ‘Willy’,” Adam said, sounding very proud.
 
“And the wrinkly thing underneath?”
 
“I call them my ‘balls’,” Adam replied with equal pride. “Do you like them?”
 
Eve looked at them suspiciously.
 
“Your ‘willy’ looks more like a ‘penis’ to me,” Eve said. “And it’s a little small, isn’t it?”

 

2 Responses to In The Beginning

  1. Kim Akimoto says:

    Good one Greg! Simply brilliant 😀

  2. Tamara Hunter says:

    Ha! Made me laugh, as always Greg. Nice take on it 🙂

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